Love is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.  It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

When it comes to a toxic relationship, we prolong leaving it for different reasons, for some it’s because of “the kids” or for the sake of comfort and familiarity, we are fearful of what’s out there, or the thought of life without a partner. No matter how many times we’ve been hurt, taken for granted, or had our needs neglected, we still choose to stay even if our mind and heart strongly suggest otherwise.  You know the hard road is the best road, you just don’t want to feel the pain.  I been there, I felt and experience the toxic relationship and all the feelings that comes with it.  I am here to tell you that no matter how toxic or how stuck you feel like you are right now; you don’t have to give up on your hopes, your dreams, and your needs when it comes to love.

I ended a 10 year relationship. I thought he was  the reason for my accomplishments. I feared the idea of living without him for a long time. These questions overwhelmed me: What would I do? Who would I be? Where would I go? And the truth is I didn’t know yet then.  It’s been about 6 years, I was able to end the relationship and move on and love again, but it was harder than I care to admit. I was under the illusion that it wasn’t so bad for quite a while after our break up, but pain is a tricky companion that plants constant seeds of doubt in our minds. Pain is pain, no matter what pretty outfit you try to dress it up in. Distance and time gave me perspective because now I love and allow others to love me in a more healthier way. I was able to focus on myself, redirecting my energy  around people who inspire me, support me and helped me to grow into my happiest, strongest, wisest self.

Are you considering finally getting out? If so, here are some of your next steps. Here’s hoping you’ll soon be able to move on to a happier, healthier relationship with yourself first.

1. Stop Making Excuses

2. Find A Place To Go

3. Set Up Some Boundaries

4. Envision Moving Forward

5. Remember Who You Used To Be

6. Work On Yourself (self-esteem, self-love & self-care)

7. Move Through The Grieving Process

8. Get In Touch With Your Body

9. Find Your Tribe

10. Start Living Your Life On Purpose & Love again (when you are ready).

You are worthy of LOVE & Affection. Your needs matter, YOU MATTER!